First time as swinger couple?
What goes on at the first swinger party can vary widely from couple to couple, party to party, and night to night. If a couple is having a bad energy day, they're probably going to find themselves at a bad energy party. So the first thing needed to be done at a inaugural swinger party is to get the best party mood.
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Whether answering an swinger ad or got an invite from an acquaintance, a couple can arrive on the lifestyle and easily convince themselves that they are the odd couple out. they're sure everyone but them knows what they're doing. (Even though they don't).
The best thing for a newbie in this lifestyle is to realize is that it's all about getting to know what other swinger couples want:
- Do they swap?
- Do they watch?
- Does he like guys?
- Does she like women?
At any given swingers party, a couple will not be the only ones wondering these things. Other couples may be clinging to the few swingers they know because it's a comfort zone. But in the end, swingers go to parties to meet new swinger friends. This means that being a little in the dark is part of the lifestyle. What about a group where the guests all seem to know each other? Though they rarely know each other as well as anyone there might think from the friendly greetings, no one can be sure there's one couple at the party nobody knows .
For many reasons new swingers will be subject of great curiosity. Think of this as an advantage, not a liability.
Admit to be a lifestyle newbie.
Most people are more than willing to help new people . Then, if in doubt,watch.
Watch other swinger couples.
Watch for the rules of the house; watch how others make contact. The biggest difference between the newbie and the experienced swinger is that the more experienced swinger couples have a clearer picture of what they want. And yes, they've established some ways to go after it. But hanging back, taking it slow, is never frowned upon. Just remember, the first time out, nobody has to get lucky, he/she just have to have fun. Eventually, if not his/her first party then his/her third or fifth, he/she will get lucky -- providing a take-it-for-sure coming back.
So here are a few rules to be taken with to make sure the first swinger experience leaves a pleasant afterglow.
Before going to the party, discuss what will be done and what won't.
Make a "boundaries" list and stick to it. Know where each partner will and won't go. If something unexpected comes up and it's not on the "will do" list, try to get away and have a summit before responding. If there's no way to get away, let it go. Discuss it after the party and put it into the rule book for future reference. Don't feel like having to jump on every opportunity; a missed opportunity will enhance anyone's desire to return -- which means the first swinging experience was a success.
Maintain solidarity between partners. Jealousy, uncertainty, discomfort, a couple can ward off these potential negatives by maintaining their solidarity, by "checking in" with their mate and putting the relationship at the center of all decisions.
Be polite, by old-fashioned standards. Please, thank-you, no thank-you. Suggest rather than insist; decline with a smile rather than a scowl.
Let having fun be the goal.
And go fully prepared to have every sex goodies on hand in case to get lucky.
The key to be a good swinger couple is remembering you're adult people and you can handle this in an adult way.